Britannia, uncool?

Dear Britain,

I’m addressing you as Britain, although you may not remember who that is. You may think of yourself as English, Scottish, or Welsh, depending where your schizophrenia is heading today. Anyway, just to seize the faintly possible chance that you still remember yourself, I’m writing to you.

You aren’t what you used to be. No, I’m not referring to your colonialism or to your world power status. The former wasn’t as cool as the Queen Mum thought it was, and the latter comes and goes. I’m not referring to your economic situation either. Booms come and go, too. I’m referring to something that is missing in your BBC Radio Four’s morning opener - that medley of songs that used to include “Rule, Britannia”. Even when only played out for some fishing boats in the Irish Sea and around Dogger, it was still cool, and there was no reason to dump it.

Last year, I had the dubious pleasure to stay on Heathrow Airport for a few hours. No, I’m not talking about your chaotic new terminal. Chaos comes and goes, and if everything goes wrong, you can even tear it down. I’m talking about the smoking ban that is in force all over Heathrow Airport. If I wanted to smoke a cigarette there, I would have to walk some five kilometres - out of the airport, that is.
Don’t get me wrong: I can live without a cigarette, even after a long flight, and another flight ahead. My point is that this health fascism doesn’t look reasonable, and even less so in a country that used to be relaxed about small or meaningless issues. What made you so hysterical? Maybe you should check your diet.

Talking about hysterics, your good old aunt BBC… ahem… frowned on one of her listeners a year or two ago. You know, when you ran your Freeeeee-Alan-Johnston campaign. The listener they bashed had had the nerves to complain about the disproportionate share of airtime that the kidnapping of Mr Johnston in Gaza got. The BBC’s staff got that listener on the phone and gave him  what I would call “a serious dressing-down” in the BBC’s outsourced Over-to-You programme. They made him look pretty bad there. The only problem: he was absolutely right, and his stance, though politically not correct and possibly cold hearted, is one that I (and maybe many listeners) share, and didn’t dare to voice. The BBC staff however, in the name of corporate warm-heartedness and “He-is-our-colleague-and-we-are-so-worried” refused to take such evil listeners serious. Now they are whining because less people are taking them serious.
If you want to be trusted, be cool - don’t try that “bbc-and-listeners-all-one-caring-family” thing ever again, not even if you think that some criminals’ actions demand it.

About cold-heartedness, more generally-speaking: I think that your heart’s temperature is the problem now. You have become too warm-hearted. Well - not really. A warm heart doesn’t try to shine and bedazzle others - even strangers - all the time. A real warm heart is laid-back, moderately interested in other peoples’ lives, talking about the weather and making unacceptable jokes about Allah, Jesus, Jahwe, and Buddha. Agreed, one look at demographics shows that this is less easy than it was when Monty Python made the Life of Brian movie. But I think the REAL shit became evident for all the world when that royal kindergarden nanny died in a car crash in Paris, eleven years ago. No - not when she died, really, but when you all went silly about it and almost beheaded your Queen for not impersonating the howling nuisance that you had become. Once you started hanging it all out, your hearts started turning cold, boring, and uptight (see Heathrow and its smoking ban).

At the same time, many of your own people don’t find it cool to refer to themselves as British anymore. Probably because too many immigrants consider themselves British, huh? Now, many of you are just English, Scottish, Welsh.
Who cut your balls off? The Blair government? To make you more “European”?

Don’t get me wrong - Britain at the heart of the EU would be great, if Britain still remained Britain there. But to be honest, although I’m a commie, I would vote Tory in the next possible election if I was British. You need to rekindle your cool soul, and maybe Mr Cameron is just the right guy to do it. I see nobody at Labour who could do that at all. I doubt that anyone of Labour wants to do that anyway. They’ll rather ban Land of Hope and Glory at the next Last Night of the Proms.

Truly yours,
a concerned Kraut

Aleppo soap and its miraculous Effects

Hi dear reader,
 
and now for something LIGHT…
 
I had looked for some Syrian soap, or rather Aleppo soap on ebay. There are several offers there, and some product descriptions are so cool that I can’t help but sharing them here. For example…
 
“Aleppo soap - (…) made of pure olive oil
Aleppo soap has been produced in a high-quality, natural process for millenia. The olive oil cleans the skin and greases back at the same time. As it is so mild (pH neutral), it is applicable to every type of skin. The use of natural ingredients only makes it both outstandingly caring-effective and 100% biodegradable.
From its ochre-coloured surface you can see its gentle air-drying which takes six to nine months. The olive-green colour inside is an indicator for its strong vitamin-E content.
Aleppo soap is purely herbal,  pH neutral, antiseptic, highly efficient, has a high amount of vitamin E, is biodegradable, produced in a gentle way, and free of preserving agents (…)“
 
Or:
“You are purchasing by auction 1 piece of Aleppo soap, 190 to 200 grammes. This soap emphasizes the properties of laurel oil. It cleans, nourishes, disinfects and calms, invigorates and refreshes. Healing and calming effect on skin problems such as acne, allergies, eczema, and psoriasis. The more dry the skin is, the higher a laurel concentration should be chosen.
An oriental secret for skin and hair care.
Subtly fragrant, 100% herbal and naturally pure olive soap from the Orient, produced just like 1000 years and more ago in Syria, made of 80% olive and 20% laurel oil. The soap is made of 100% renewable ingredients and contains no artificial preserving agents, no ionic tensides, technical colours, flavours (such as perfume), or animal additives. Production is carried out without animal experiments. (…)“
 
This is beautiful too:
“In Syria, production of soap was first mentioned on the Ebla Tablets around 1000 B.C. as a medical cure. (…) Laurel soap is a merely herbal soap, without chemical or animal additives. It is good for cleaning and caring for the skin, and also for shaving, and against dandruff (leave it there for two to three minutes). It is refreshing and supports the self-regulating function of your skin. The pH value animates the body to release poison and acids through the skin. The skin can breathe and sweat without losing humidity. The skins acid mantle protection of the skin doesn’t get affected.
In case of hypersensitive skin, allergies, and neuro-dermatological diseases the soap can be used, too. Itching and lotioning is over when using laurel soap. It produces little foam and therefore lasts long. If kept dry, it can be stored for several decades.
Ingredients: 30% native olive oil kba, 30% genuine laurel oil kba, thereof 30% fat laurel oil kba (…)“
 
OK, let’s sum this down: chemotherapeutic agents, penicillin, and sulphoamide? Geez, the Fertile Crescent’s nature and science have blessed us with a completely unobserved substance that doesn’t only help with dry skin, but dandruff, acne, allergies, eczema, and Elephantiasis, too! It’s even antibacterial! That’s probably why Aleppo has never been afflicted by pestilence, cholera, and Berriberri.
 
Alright, it is still no perpetuum mobile, but you can’t ask everything from a 200 grammes piece of soap.
Time for the United Nations or Bill Gates to test its effect against malaria, yellow fever and tuberculosis.
____________________________________

Hallo meine lieben LeserInnen, heute leihe ich mir mal was.
 
Am Wochenende habe ich beim deutschen Ebay nach syrischer Seife, oder besser nach Alepposeife gesucht. Es gibt dort jede menge Anbieter und ein paar Produktbeschreibungen sind einfach so klasse, dass ich sie an dieser Stelle wiedergeben möchte:
 
Z.B.
 
“Aleppo Seife - (…) aus reinem Olivenöl
 
Die Aleppo-Seife wird seit Jahrtausenden nach einem hochwertigen, natürlichen Verfahren hergestellt. Das Olivenöl reinigt die Haut und sorgt gleichzeitig für deren Rückfettung. Dank der Milde (ph-neutral) eignet sich die Aleppo-Seife für jeden Hauttyp. Die Verwendung ausschließlich natürlicher Zutaten, bewirkt neben der hervorragenden Pflegewirkung auch die 100% biologische Abbaubarkeit.
 
An der ockerfarbigen äußeren Schicht erkennt man die schonende 6-9 Monate dauernde Lufttrocknung. Das olivgrün im Inneren der Seife ist ein Indikator für den hohen Vitamin-E Gehalt.
 
(Alepposeife ist)
… rein pflanzlich
… pH-neutral
… antiseptisch
… höchste Ergiebigkeit
… hoher Vitamin-E Gehalt
… biologisch abbaubar
… schonende Herstellung
… ohne Konservierungsstoffe (…)“
 
Oder auch:
 
“Sie bieten auf 1 Stück Alepposeife, Stück zwischen 190 - 200g.
 
80 % Oliven- und  20 % Lorbeeröl, ca. zwei Jahre alt
 
Diese Seife unterstreicht die Eigenschaften des Lorbeeröls. Sie reinigt, nährt, desinfiziert und beruhigt, belebt und erfrischt. Wirkt heilend und beruhigend bei Hautproblemen, wie Akne, Allergien, Ekzemen und Psoriasis. Je trockener die Haut, desto höher sollte man den Lorbeeranteil wählen. 
 
Ein Geheimnis aus dem Orient zur Pflege von Haut und Haar
 
Fein duftende, 100 % pflanzliche naturreine Olivenseife aus dem Orient, hergestellt wie schon seit über 1000 Jahren in Syrien aus 80 % Oliven- und 20 % Lorbeeröl. Die Seife ist aus 100 % nachwachsenden Rohstoffen und enthält keine künstlichen Konservierungsstoffe, keine ionischen Tenside, technische Farben, Aromen (wie z.B. Parfümierung) oder tierische Zusatzstoffe. Die Herstellung erfolgt ohne Tierversuche. (…)“
 
 
Und richtig prima:
 
“handgemachte Seife aus Aleppo (Syrien)
 
In Syrien findet die Herstellung von Seifen erstmals auf den Ebla-Tafeln um 1000 v. Chr. Erwähnung als medizinisches Heilmittel.
(…)
Lorbeerseife ist eine rein pflanzliche Seife; frei von chemischen und tierischen Zusätzen. Sie ist Reinigungs- und Pflegemittel für Haut & Haare und zudem geeignet für die Rasur und zur Bekämpfung von Kopfschuppen.(2-3 Min. einwirken lassen). Sie wirkt erfrischend und unterstützt die selbstregulierende Funktion der Haut. Der ph-Wert regt den Körper an, Gifte und Säuren über die Haut auszuscheiden. Die Haut kann atmen und schwitzen, ohne Feuchtigkeit zu verlieren.
Der Säureschutzmantel der Haut wird nicht angegriffen.
Auch bei überempfindlicher Haut; Allergien und neurodermatologischen Erkrankungen, kann die Seife verwendet werden. Jucken und eincremen der Haut entfällt bei Benutzung der Lorbeerseife  Sie produziert wenig Schaum und ist deshalb sehr ergiebig. Trocken gehalten kann sie mehrere Jahrzehnte gelagert werden.
Inhaltsstoffe: 70% natives Olivenöl kbA, 30% echtes Lorbeeröl kbA - davon 30% fettes Lorbeeröl kbA (…)“
 
Also, fassen wir alles das einmal zusammen: Chemotherapeutika, Penicillin und Sulfoamide? Bah, die Natur und die Wissenschaft des fruchtbaren Halmondes hat uns einen bis jetzt völlig übersehenen Stoff geschenkt, der nicht nur gegen trockene Haut hilft, sondern auch bei Kopfschuppen, Akne, Allergien, Ekzemen und Elephantiasis eingesetzt werden kann. Und Antibakteriell ist die Alepposeife auch noch; wahrscheinlich wurde Aleppo deshalb auch nie von Pest, Cholera und Beri-Beri heimgesucht.
 
Nun gut, ein Perpetuum mobile scheint Alepposeife nicht zu sein, aber sollten die UNO oder Bill Gates nicht endlich ihre Wirkung gegen Malaria, Gelbfieber und Tuberkulose untersuchen lassen?

Is Sarko just “showy”?

Aleppo Citadel throne hall: venue for a future Mediterranean conference?

He is our president. So-to-speak. France is chairing the EU until the end of the year, and Nicolas Sarkozy is the French president. The BBC’s diplomatic correspondent in Jerusalem is weighing the pros and cons of the Union for the Mediterranean project and prefers not to make up his mind. “President Sarkozy wants to add France’s weight as a facilitator [in the Middle East]. But in the end it may amount to little.”  

Compared to what any US president Bush’s successor may be able to achieve. Sure. But if Lebanon and Syria really exchanged embassies, that would be a big and helpful step for Syria towards the real world.

Then again, it is going to be a long way, even if the two countries do advance diplomatically. Lebanon’s president Suleiman asked press people not to refer to the dialogue between his country and Syria as “normalising ties”. Their relations were “completely normal”.

Makes me wonder if he considers them “normal” because he sees no Syrian involvement in the assassination of Rafiq Hariri, or because Lebanon’s former prime minister is dead anyway.

Südbrücke - Verden’s Southern Bridge to be demolished

The Südbrücke was built during the years of 1888 and 1889, one year after Wilhelm II. became emperor. In the final days of World War 2, German troups tried to blow it up, together with a similar bridge closer to town, to keep the British forces West of the Aller River. The old iron lady next to town gave in to the explosives, but her sister further West remained unmoved. The blast only shattered the Verden Dome’s stained-glass windows some hundred metres away. But the City and district councils are  apparently determined to accomplish the glorious work of our heroic troops, some 63 years later. Instead of this single-lane iron bridge, they will build a two-lane one.

Traffic planning has sucked here for decades, and one sometimes gets the impression that Verden, by and large spared by the Allied bombers during the war, feels compelled by an invisible hand to do the job of the American, British and Canadian airforce, plus the above-mentioned work of German troops, by itself.

What the town really needs is a ring road that would pick up the B 215 traffic. Baby-sized solutions like the one that put up with the loss of old buildings in the North West of the old city (but couldn’t cope with traffic only twenty years later), plus the one underway now, are useless.